At the beginning of my second year with Jessica, I could tell she was getting worse and the drugs she had to take were very harsh.. We would often have to stop the massage session two or three times because of her nausea. In a gesture of ultimate love and sacrifice, I saw her aunt and uncle give up a third of their lungs for her second double lung transplant so she would have another chance to live. Sadly, she only lasted a few more months, and she died just before her seventeenth birthday.

She knew she was dying and asked me to sing at her funeral. I agreed immediately, knowing it would be one of the more difficult and meaningful performances of my life. I used the pre-recorded track with Jessica's voice on it. When everyone heard her, there was an instant calm over the room.

They released seventeen white balloons at the graveside - one for each year of her all too short and precious life.

Becc Lester and I flew to St. Louis to sing for Jessica's memorial service at the children’s hospital where her transplants had been performed. People all around the hospital were reading her book. The service was magical and healing for all who attended... doctors, nurses, people that had brought her food, and even members of the local media got up to tell stories of how Jessica had changed their lives. I told my story too. What a healer she was!

After all that, I decided not to sing that song anymore. It seemed just too sad. Until one day, in a moment of deep meditation, her spirit grabbed my hand and we floated away. She said, “I know you are thinking about not singing my song, but it is a healing for you and for everyone who hears it!” I said, “Ok” of course. How can you argue with someone you are floating with?

Upon the first anniversary of her death, I arranged to sing her song at church. This time I told her story beforehand. After the service a lady came to me. She had started “Loving Arms,” a house that takes care of children who have been affected by the AIDS crisis. They take care of over two hundred kids! She said she knew this song was special and it had become their prayer song everyday. Next a man came to me and said that he tried not to listen to the song because it was sad, but every time he put the cassette in “A Will to Live” always seemed to be cued up, so he began to listen. He said he now listens every morning and can’t wait to hear Jessica’s voice to start his day. One after another, story after story, Jessica is still healing people. The blessings still flow!

A few months ago my band, now called Lavender Soul, was playing outside at a church picnic. We had been there all day, and I had not seen any balloons at the event, We were performing in a small clearing surrounded by tall trees. When we played Jessica’s song we used the track so everyone could hear her voice. At the end of the song when she began to speak, a large white balloon, like the ones at her funeral, came over the trees and descended in front of everyone. When her song finished, it rose away and floated out of sight. Jessica had come to say hello and tell me to keep singing it!

In honor of her contribution and her life, I have made Jessica Pace co-writer of “A Will to Live” which allows proceeds of the sales to go to “The Jessica Pace Foundation” which has been funding Camp Barnabas for special needs children. She just keeps on healing.

I am truly grateful!
Peace, Love and Happiness,

Bernard DeSeck

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